Blog 13

The ending was definitely tragic and it was frustrating for me to read. Desiree once lived on her own imagination (dream) and she did not really care about what people said about her. What she did was just following her dream which was an obtainable love with the rich boy. She believed she would make into her dream and she almost made it for real. She thought she was special. Later, however, the boy rejected her and fell in love with another girl. This was already frustrating to me because she lost her dream in front of her eyes, but moreover in the end, the way she died was as one of the peasant crowd and stampeded by them and policemen. Even when she died, she was not special. The only thing left was lonely, pitiful corpse on the ground. The thing that made this situation worse was Gabriele's attitude towards her corpse. He said, "I don't pay you good money to leave dead peasants in front of my hotel. Do you want to discourage my guests?". The his gatekeeper picked up the corpse and dumped it at the side of road as if the dead body was a thing. Not only her dream was ripped off, but also her death did not make any sympathy of the rich. Also she came along really long way with helping of gods, but it could not make her realize her dream. When I think that she was dreaming completenonsense and lost her dream completely, I feel like this story is so frustrating. 

Therefore I think this story is telling us the corruption of the rich and also telling us to not get blinded by the extreme dream. As I said above, the rich's attitude toward the peasants was inhumane. He did not feel any guilt about her death and looked down on the peasants. He showed the typical type of corrupted rich very well. Also, Desiree died because she was blinded by her extreme dream. Her active attitude to obtain what she wants was a good thing, but it also led her to the tragic death. She did not take care of herself when she felt all lost and kept on searching for her dream without realizing her situation which was almost hopeless. I think this says sometimes the reckless following of dream can be destructive so take care of you first. 

Questions

1. What would happen to the little girl in chapter 9 whom Ti Moune gave an advice to go to the peasant village?

2. Do you think Ti Moune was really happy when she finally met Daniel?

3. What is the relationship between her songs to Daniel?

4. Why did the gatekeepers and others laugh at her? Only because she did not wear shoes?

My Favorite Character In The Book

A rendition of The Little Mermaid called My Love My Love the Peasant Girl contains many interesting characters. Having them in, the island which appears in this book must be very magical place. There is an invisible border between rich and poor and they do not tend to contact to each other. The story mainly focuses on the poor (peasant) side and draws the main character Desiree's (Ti Moune) story which is about her love with Daniel who is a rich side guy. There are Ti Moune, Daniel, Tonton, Mama Euralie, Agwe, Asaka, Papa Ge, Erzulie... and other characters. Among them, I would say my favorite one is Tonton Julian. 
Tonton Julian is an adoptive father of Ti Moune and also a peasant. There are several reasons why I like him. First, he is going to be my role in the musical. Thus, he surely is one that I know the best and one that I have to love as a character. 
Secondly, I feel like he and I have a few things in common. On page 27, it says, "Men like Tonton Julian were absent. They met instead outside of huts to talk, to complain, to drink rum and shout of their grievances to each other". I was so surprised that he acts just like me. To talk, to complain, and to drink (for me it will be orange juice) are the things that I always do when I want to dissolve my stressful life. When I felt something in common with the fictional character, I think it is natural to like the character more. 
Lastly, he is not only a very protective and loving father but also a funny and friendly husband. On page 34, it says "Tonton Julian, seeing the fearful faces around him, the begging eyes of his little gem, shrugged". I think it shows his caring about his gem-like daughter. When she said she wants to make the strange guy who she likes on her mat, he was worried about her being in danger but because he loves his daughter so much, he could not just reject her wish and her begging eyes. On page 36, he says to Mama Euralie, laughed, "Now we are asked to pray for sun, when what we must have to survive is rain. It's in this way men participate in their own doom". I felt like he was the only character who makes some jokes. This characteristic is what I like the most about him. He is funny and makes boring reading into a little bit entertaining. He is teasing and funny especially to his wife. For example, on page 63, he says "Real joy only comes in the future", when Mama Euralie said "But what joy can come from her [Desiree] hopeless dreams?" with a little anxiety. His teasing answer drew her angry but being teaseful is his own feature. 
Tonton Julian seemed very strict at first, but as I read the book, I found that he was actually a very soft, caring, frank, and cute in some ways. He is an essential character in this book and therefore he would be my favorite character. 

Question 4

If you were to stage this novel as a play, how would you costume Desiree (Ti Moune) in order to show her as a member of the peasant village yet also an outsider, a dreamer who longs for something different? Would you show any connection to the Gods or to the rich and if so, how? Explain your answer.

Desiree (Ti Moune) is a peasant girl who devotes herself to the love which is a dream. She has really smooth skin and her body is shiny as the Jewel. Although she belongs to the peasant village, her mind actually is outside of the village. She is a character who has a quite mixed characteristic of peasant and rich, I would say. However she anyway belongs to the peasant group, so I will costume her as a peasant girl, such as one piece dress and barefoot. These costumes are to show that she is a peasant. To also show that this girl longs for the love, I want to make a connection with the god of love Erzulie. Therefore, as I imagined that Erzulie would wear pink and purple, I want Desiree's one-piece dress in pink and purple (maybe more like pink). Also, because the image of an outsider and dreamer seems like who are seeking for the freedom, I do not want to make her wear the hood that most of peasant women wear. Instead, I want her to let down her to look more freely. Lastly, because she later falls in love with the grande Homme who is from the rich side, I want to make the connection between her and the rich. Luckily the story said she has very smooth skin and shiny eyes like Jewels which seem like the trait of rich, so I want to emphasize it through makeup. For instance, (I don't know much about makeup) use powder to make a lighter-looking skin or use moist to make skin look shiny.

Four Essential Gods

My Love, My Love Or The Peasant Girl written by Rosa Guy is a retelling of the tale The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen. Therefore, I could find some similarities between two books as I read. This book was also adapted into the Broadway musical version called Once on This Island, which will be Cheshire Academy's winter drama production. This story is set on the island where the boundary between rich and poor is obvious, and according to our class, the character's names sound like quite French name because the author is from Haiti whose official language Creole resulted from French. The whole plot is about the peasant girl Ti Moune (Desiree) who fell in love with a guy from rich side. In the book, there are four gods in which peasants firmly believe. Asaka is goddess of Earth, of plants, of all growing things, Agwe is god of the sea, Papa Ge is god of death, and Erzulie is goddess of love. They are all responsible for four essential factors of human life. If I were to stage this novel and create four god characters, I would try to think simple to make them fit.  

First, for Asaka, I will dress her in a green dress and flower hat. I thought simply that because Asaka is goddess of natural things, she needs to wear in the color of nature: Green. Because of the same reason, I want to make her put flower hat on. Also I think Asaka has pretty bright personality according to "Asaka smiled and we laughed with joy. She laughed and we danced" (Guy, 11), so I want her make up to be in bright color and to be little short. I think it will show that Asaka is very bright active goddess who loves nature. Secondly, for Agwe, through my simple thinking process, he will have to wear deep blue color robe and maybe blue wig (or maybe fish mask haha). He seems very generous and adoring Asaka, so I want him to be looking a little old; I will draw some wrinkles and put some long beard. Third, for Papa Ge, obviously I want him to wear black clothes. I think all the peasants are afraid of him because they say "Papa Ge, don't come around me", so I would draw very scary makeup on his face like the phantom. Also I do not know why but I feel like make him wear a magician hat. I think it will make him look scary and keep others from approaching. Lastly, for Erzulie, I would like her to wear very lovely long pink dress and have a long hair. I would like her to be looking mature since love is understandable when a person is mature. Thus I will put a lot of eye makeup which will help make her look older. As a result, all four gods have different color and appearance and so do other characters. The four gods, who will make the story interesting, would be easily distinguished. 

So far I have only read very small portion of the book, so I am not sure about the whole plot. Also I do not know well about the base story The Little Mermaid so it will be hard time. However as Tonton Julian in the production. I will try to get this novel as perfectly as I can. 

Plants on the Island

Magnolias 

Eucalyptus 

Ficus

Azaleas

Poinsettias 

Flamboyant 

Final Draft Of Written Coursework

One of William Shakespeare’s most famous pieces is Romeo and Juliet, a tragic fiction play that depicts the unattainable love between Romeo and Juliet. When I was reading Romeo and Juliet, the first thought I had in my head was that this story was highly ridiculous as a reader who has the modernized interpretation of watching the world. What I thought next was perhaps I could re-make this story to be more believable, but the problem was how am I going to do that. A little after, I came up with a few ideas inspired by these day’s comedy shows. They used modern setting as a background to make not humorous story into humorous story. Although I might not be able to make it “believable”, I thought I could at least make a jocular parody of a few scenes and show that these scenes are not believable. To do that, I had to come up with some comedic factors, and the scenes that I thought irrational and chose to reveal the quixotic features were Act 1 Scene 5, Act 2 Scene 2, and Act 3 Scene 1. If the story of Romeo and Juliet was put into the real modern world, the plot would be perceived as irrational and implausible. Therefore, I tried to portray the ridiculous aspects of the scenes by using condensed lines, employing exaggeration and sarcasm with characters’ action and playing various songs to set the atmosphere of the scenes.

Act 1 Scene 5 is about the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet and its background is a ball. Starting from the line 104, which was Romeo’s first attempt to attract Juliet by his poetic words, Romeo and Juliet’s crush on each other grew rapidly and eventually turned into a strong love. This scene was immensely unrealistic to me. Considering that Juliet was thirteen years old girl and Romeo was just a few years older than her, and the way they charmed with each other, I thought this scene needed to be amended urgently. First and foremost about lines, I thought there was too much unnecessary description, and they had gone too far as unsettled teenage lovers. I eliminated all poetic language and left only essential parts of the lines. Fundamentally, I just left the words that were needed to convey meaning. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss” (line 104) was changed into “My lips, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss” because I felt like the original was too wordy and too descriptive which could sound boring to the audiences, and that was actually the better way to say in the given circumstance. In addition, I wanted to show that Romeo’s crush was lighthearted since he fell in love with Juliet only by looking at her beauty. “What lady’s that which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?” (Line 48), Romeo asked Juliet’s identity to a servingman just because she was so pretty and that made him want to talk to her. Thus for the staging, I acted out Romeo as a playboy whose main purpose was to flirt with a girl, so I, with my fellows, danced like drunk people; we shaked our body without an idea. Then we pointed finger at an invisible attractive girl passing by me, made a whoop with smiling, and did fist bump with nodding. It showed that Romeo in the scene was not thinking enough and immature about love. Also, I thought that in the real world, the background like a ball which has really loud and chaotic atmosphere makes it hard for people to hear each other speaking, and I thought it could be used as a comical factor of this scene. Therefore I set up the background as a modern dance club and played a dance electronic music called “Shots” by LMFAO. Most importantly, to make the scene hilarious, I added a direction; Romeo and Juliet had to ask for pardon to each other since they could not really hear each other speaking. It was hilarious to the audience because even though their lines were remarkably exquisite, they could not actually hear what each other said. By getting rid of all the poetic language and leaving only the practical words, and by setting the background as a dance club and adding the specific humorous stage direction, I could effectively show that Romeo is an unworldly boy and Romeo and Juliet’s first meeting scene was highly unrealistic.

Then in Act 2 Scene 2, which was the balcony scene, there was a significant deepening of Romeo and Juliet’s hopeless love by talking in poetic words and checking each other’s mind. However, when I tried to imagine this scene happening nowadays, I simply could not imagine because it was way too romantic and beautiful unlike reality. In reality, if two lovers fall in love, they go out of their mind and can not restrain themselves. Thus, while the soliloquy of Juliet in the original scene proceeded calmly and feebly, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet”, I changed Juliet’s action completely but kept the whole line for my scene. I asked Juliet to be much more obsessed with Romeo and act like a child who really wants to get something but her mother does not let her get it. This might be the Juliet’s actual attitude in this scene. In my scene, Juliet demonstrated her obsession by exaggeratedly stumbling around the stage, lapsing on the floor and aggressively screaming out Romeo’s name, and grabbing anything on the stage and throwing. It showed Juliet’s strong feeling towards Romeo in an audacious way and it helped the audience easily grasp what was going on in the scene. Next, Romeo was eavesdropping Juliet under the balcony, and when he realized the way she thought about him, he tried to climb up the wall to reach her. I thought I could make that as a comical scene. Consequently, I played the Mission Impossible theme song while Romeo mimed climbing up the wall, and prepared sunglasses to mimic a secret agent of Mission Impossible. Also I asked Romeo to rumple his clothes and spoil his hair after he finished miming climbing up to show the harshness of reality that it is absurd to be drawn neatly after climb the wall. By doing that, I tried to be sarcastic to the particularly imaginative scene. Lastly, Romeo seemed decidedly brave that he could take all the risky situations coming from the feud between two families, but I found this was ironic and this will never happen in reality especially for teenage lovers who are not capable of refusing parent’s opinion. I demonstrated the ironic stage direction to stress the fact that the feud was impossible to avoid. For that reason, when Nurse called Juliet within the house, Romeo, who said that he was not afraid of the Capulet family, was shocked, slipped on the ground, and crawled to hide somewhere. Using exaggeration and hilarious stage directions helped me successfully complete my goal which was to make audience laugh and show other chimerical aspects of the scene.  

My last choice was Act 3 Scene 1, which is Tybalt, Mercutio, and Romeo’s fighting scene. This scene seemed to have no room to make it humorous, but there was always breakthrough. Throughout the story, the majority of Romeo’s lines were exceptionally long due to his aesthetic modifier and poetic flowery words. Act 3 Scene 3 has a huge tension between the Montague and Capulet families; in other words it had to be a very serious and tight scene in terms of the atmosphere. Nonetheless, Romeo’s line in that scene was still so long. From “Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting. Villain am I none. Therefore farewell. I see thou knows me not” (line 63) to “I do protest I never injured thee but love thee better than thou canst devise till thou shalt know the reason of my love. And so, good Capulet, which name I tender as dearly as mine own, be satisfied” (line 73), his lines were so long that honestly he could have been stabbed before he even finished his lines. I thought Romeo’s lengthy line simply did not fit in the scene. As a result, as background music for normal lines which was said by Mercutio and Tybalt, I played the music that sounded urgent and strained called “Into the Battlefield” from Crows Zero, and as soon as Romeo started speaking, I played relaxing, sleepy, and peaceful music called “Aloha” from Spongebob Squarepants. Also to show that Romeo’s extremely long line was tedious and to emphasize his long lines, I did not cut any lines, instead Tybalt and Mercutio put down their swords, yawned, dozed off, and took a good rest while Romeo was speaking his lines along the slackening music. Lastly, when Romeo kills Tybalt by stabbing him, he actually did not mean to kill Tybalt according to “O, I am Fortune’s fool!” (line 142). Romeo was likely to kill Tybalt impulsively and he might have been shocked that he actually killed a person. I felt like I could make it funny by taking Romeo’s emotion into the scene and making it into slow motion. As a result, in our scene, when Romeo killed Tybalt, they did slow motion by themselves by making a shocked face and roaring sound. This scene, on which my friends and I contemplated for a long time as a group, was the most successful one that was paid off by making a lot of people laugh. The using of two completely different sounding musics clearly indicated the contrast of atmosphere which emphasizes Romeo’s ridiculously lengthy lines and how it did not fit in the scene. In addition, exaggerated stage direction such as nodding off and slow motion strengthened the effect.

Even though the play Romeo and Juliet is widely known as one of Shakespeare’s masterpieces, it has a lot of irrational qualities when it is viewed from the modern perspective. As an impressed and admiring reader of it, I wanted to adapt it into the modern setting and employ a few comical factors to make it hilarious to manifest the unrealistic qualities, since no one would imagine that this perfectly tragic love story turns into complete comedy. By choosing to do challenging task, I could not only develop the skill to see Romeo and Juliet with my second eyes, but also learn that making a comedy needs a great amount of analysis of the scenes and sophisticated preparedness in directing.  

My Visit To The Writing Center

After the location of the writing center had changed, I did not go there, for I had no time to go (maybe not). However thanks to Lit&Perf class, I made one step into the amazing world of  writing. Last year, the writing center was just the room in the library that had "writing center" sticker on the glass wall and it only had one teacher per period. Sometimes it was even not open when the teacher was busy on that day. In contrast this year, it actually is a pretty big office that has a few rooms. Ms. Swift is very dedicated boss (I guess), and there was no one when I visited but I think usually there is one student writing fellow sitting down. My experience this time was pretty good and I think I need to go there one more time to get it done fully.

Revision with Ms. Swift was pretty much about technical problems. She made me read my paper out loud to see if it sounds weird. Interestingly, when I read it out, I could see problems that I could not see while I was writing. I fixed those problems by myself, but for some subtle problems that required more insightful English skill, she directly suggested me to fix it. She also advised me about my first body paragraph. She said if you are trying to show your staging was funny and the way I made it funny, your description should be very vivid and FUNNY. Then she showed some jokes from magazine on her cork board, and brought the magazines to show me what joke makes people laugh and what factor makes funny situation. Unfortunately, I did not think the description of first body paragraph, which is about the dance club adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, was funny. I had to add more evidence to make the description more imaginable and hilarious. Also she wanted me to be more specific about the musics. For example, I used two contrasting musics in terms of the atmospheres and I just described them on my paper using some adjectives, but she said I could write the actual song name on the paper to be more specific and cite them at the end of the paper. Nevertheless, I went over only the first and second body paragraph with her so I have to go over with her again. I do not think I did enough.

The writing center was very helpful to see my hair-spliting problems that I could not see, so in the future, I will definitely use the writing center more frequently especially when I have problems with my grammar, and when I am unsure about the structure of writing. Also because I get to read out my paper in front of native speaker and get to realize my mistakes or problems, I think I can improve my speaking skill as well as self-revising skill. I am still working hard on my draft, and I will keep working on until I hear the writing center says "Did you plagiarize? It is flawless!".

Adventure to The Neverland

The play called Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie is the most famous work of him. It was later adapted into several different kinds of work such as musical version and movie version. However the sad thing is that people do not know who wrote Peter Pan and the adapted versions are far more well-known than the original play version which our Cheshire Academy Varsity Players proudly well-performed. I thought it was really good idea to feature the original conception of Peter Pan which has darker characteristics than the ones people know. The performance was really good and I could not see any major mistakes and it impressed me in various ways.
The first thing that impressed me was the setting. It seemed that there were too many props which made the stage look too complicated for the stage crews to remember all the locations where they needed to be; there were huge tree trunks, a large mesh, and a heavy ship handle. Nevertheless, every time when setting had to be changed, all the lights turned off, a whole bunch of people appeared, and did their job. After the light turned on, the setting was changed completely and perfectly. Peter Pan required several background transformation and our stage crews and some volunteers did really awesome job at making as well as moving it. (Light was also very good even without Jack Jack!)
Next thing was the music. The background musics which were played by Maggie (flute and recorder) and another piano player (I have no idea who he/she was) were really nice. Charlotte's humming melody which kept going on throughout the whole play was also very cool. I really enjoyed musical features so much.
Some comical factors were memorable too. Faculty pirates especially Mr. Porter who seemed comfortable at acting and casts' funny motions which showed the trace of agonizing over the perfection of the play were impressive. If there was one thing that was really shame; I tried to apprehend all the lines and story line but I could not because of my not perfect English skill. If I could understand, it must have been better.
Thanks to our directors, at least people who watched Cheshire Academy version of Peter Pan would realize about the fact that is not well-known and hopefully become interested in J. M. Barrie's version and our amazing drama program.

Revised Draft

William Shakespeare’s one of the most famous pieces Romeo and Juliet is a tragic fiction play that depicts the unattainable love between Romeo and Juliet. When I was reading Romeo and Juliet, the first thought I had in my head was that this story was highly ridiculous as a reader who had the modernized view at watching world. What I thought next was perhaps I could re-make this story to be more believable, but the problem was how am I going to re-make the scene to be more believable. Little after, I came up with a few ideas inspired by these day’s comedy shows. They used modern setting as a background to make not humorous story into humorous story. Although I might not be able to make it “believable”, I thought I could at least make a jocular parody of a few scenes and show that these scenes are not believable. To do that, I had to come up with some comedic factors, and the scenes that I thought irrational and chose to reveal the quixotic features were Act 1 Scene 5, Act 2 Scene 2, and Act 3 Scene 1. If the story of Romeo and Juliet were put into the real modern world, the plot would be perceived as irrational and implausible. Therefore, I tried to portray the ridiculous aspects of the scenes by using exaggeration and sarcasm on characters’ action and played various musics to set the atmosphere of the scenes.

In Act 1 Scene 5 was about the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet and its background was a ball party. Starting from the line 104, which was Romeo’s first attempt to attract Juliet by his poetic words, Romeo and Juliet’s crush on each other grew rapidly and eventually turned into a strong love. This scene was immensely unrealistic to me. Considering their age and the way they charm each other, I thought this scene needed to be amended urgently. First and foremost about lines, I thought there was too much unnecessary description and they had gone too far as unsettled teenager lovers. What I did was cutting out all the poetic language and leaving only essential parts of the lines. Fundamentally I just left the words that were needed to convey the meaning. “If I propane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough  touch with a tender kiss” (line 104) was changed into “My lips, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss” because I felt like it was too wordy and too descriptive which could sound boring to the audiences. Also, I thought that in the real world, the background like a ball party which has really loud and chaotic atmosphere makes hard to hear each other speaking, and I thought it could be used as a comical factor of this scene. Therefore I set up the background as a modern dance club and played some electronic music. Most importantly, to make the scene hilarious, I added a direction; Romeo and Juliet had to ask for pardon to each other since they could not really hear each other speaking. By getting rid of all the poetic language and leaving only the practical words, and by setting the background as a dance club and adding the specific humorous stage direction, I could effectively show that Romeo and Juliet’s first meeting scene was highly unrealistic.

Then in Act 2 Scene 2, which was the balcony scene, there was a significant deepening of their hopeless love by talking in poetic words and checking each other’s mind. However, when I tried to imagine this scene happening nowadays, I simply could not imagine  in my head because it was way too romantic and beautiful unlike reality. In the reality, if two lovers fall in love, their mind goes out of their mind and can not restrain themselves. Thus while the soliloquy of Juliet in original scene proceeded calmly and feebly, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet”, which was lamenting passively Romeo’s identity, I changed Juliet’s action hugely but kept the whole line. I asked Juliet to be more obsessed with Romeo and act like a child who really wants to get something but her mother does not let her get it because that is what I thought as an actual Juliet’s mind in the scene. In my scene, Juliet portrayed her obsession by exaggeratedly stumbling around the stage, sitting down and screaming out Romeo’s name, and grabbing anything on the stage and throwing. It showed Juliet’s strong feeling towards Romeo in another way and it helped audience easily grasp what was going on in the scene. Next, Romeo was eavesdropping Juliet under the balcony and when he realized the way she thought about him, he tried to climb up the wall to reach her. I thought I could make that as a comical scene. Consequently, I played the mission impossible theme song while Romeo climbed up the wall and prepared sunglasses. Also I asked Romeo to rumple his clothes and spoil his hair after he finished climbing up to show the harshness of reality. By doing that, I tried to be sarcastic to the particularly imaginative scene. Lastly, Romeo seemed decidedly brave that he could take all the risky situations coming from the feud between two families, but I thought this will never happen especially for teenage lovers who are not capable of refusing parent’s opinion. I demonstrated the ironic stage direction to stress the fact that the feud was impossible to avoid. For that reason, when nurse called Juliet within the house, Romeo, who said that he was not afraid of Capulet family, was shocked and trying to hide somewhere. The using of exaggeration and hilarious stage directions helped me successfully complete my goal which was to make audience laugh and show other chimerical aspects of the scene.  

My last choice was Act 3 Scene 1, which is Tybalt, Mercutio, and Romeo’s fighting scene. This scene seemed to have no room to make it humorous, but I figured out something extraordinary. Throughout the story, majority of Romeo’s lines were exceptionally long due to his aesthetic modifier and poetic flowery words. Act 3 Scene 3 had a huge tension between Montague and Capulet family; in other words it had to be very serious and tight scene in terms of the atmosphere. Nevertheless, Romeo’s line in that scene was still so long. From “Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting. Villain am I none. Therefore farewell. I see thou knows me not” (line 63) to “I do protest I never injured thee but love thee better than thou canst devise till thou shalt know the reason of my love. And so, good Capulet, which name I tender as dearly as mine own, be satisfied” (line 73), his lines were so long that honestly he could have been stabbed before he even finished his lines. I thought Romeo’s lengthy line simply did not fit in the scene. As a result, as a background music for normal lines which was said by Mercutio and Tybalt, I played the music that sounded urgent and strained, and as soon as Romeo started speaking, I played relaxing, sleepy, and peaceful music. Also to show that Romeo’s extremely long line was tedious, Tybalt and Mercutio put down their swords, yawned, dozed off, and took a good rest while Romeo was speaking his lines along the slackening music. Lastly, when Romeo kills Tybalt by stabbing him, he actually did not mean to kill Tybalt according to “O, I am Fortune’s fool!” (line 142). Romeo was likely to kill Tybalt impulsively and he might have been shocked that he actually killed a person. I felt like I could make it funny by taking Romeo’s emotion into the scene and making it into slow motion. As a result, in our scene, when Romeo killed Tybalt, they did slow motion by themselves for example making a shocked face and roaring sound. The using of two completely different sounding musics effectively showed the contrast of atmosphere which emphasizes the unrealistic aspect of Romeo’s ridiculously lengthy lines and how it did not fit in the scene and exaggerated stage direction such as nodding off and slow motion strengthened the effect.

Even though the play Romeo and Juliet is famously known as one of Shakespeare’s masterpieces, it has a lot of irrational qualities when looking from the modern perspective. As an impressed and admiring reader of it, I wanted to adapt it into the modern setting and employ a few comical factors to make it hilarious to manifest the unrealistic qualities. I used mostly exaggeration and sometimes sarcasm on actor's’ action and various sounding musics to set and sometimes contrast the ambience.

Inclass outline

Thesis: If the story of Romeo and Juliet were put into the real modern world, the plot would be perceived as irrational and implausible. Therefore, I tried to portray the ridiculous aspects of the scenes by using exaggeration and sarcasm and played loud and tranquil musics to change the atmosphere.

1. Introduction.

1. brief description

2. The reason why I chose the scenes

3. Thesis

2. Second Paragraph 1.5

1. Part that is unrealistic

2. Reason why it is unrealistic

3. How did I make it realistic - exaggeration, loud music, setting, dancing

3. Third Paragraph 2.2

1. Part that is unrealistic

2. Reason why it is unrealistic

3. How did I make it realistic - sarcasm, music, exaggeration, props

4. Fourth Paragraph 3.1

1. Part that is unrealistic

2. Reason why it is unrealistic

3. How did I make it realistic - contrasting music, slow motion, exaggeration

5. Conclusion

Comic Version of Romeo and Juliet - First Draft of Coursework

William Shakespeare’s one of the most famous pieces Romeo and Juliet is a tragic fiction play that depicts the unattainable love between Romeo and Juliet. When I was reading Romeo and Juliet, the first thought I had in my head was that this story was highly ridiculous as a reader who had the modernized view of watching world. What I thought next was perhaps I could re-make this story to be more believable, but the problem was how am I going to re-make the scene to be more believable. Little after, I came up with a few ideas inspired by these day’s comedy shows. They used modern setting as a background to make not humorous story into humorous story. Although I might not be able to make it “believable”, I thought I could make a jocular parody of a few scenes and show that this scenes are not believable. To do that, I needed comedic factors.The scenes that I thought irrational were Act 1 Scene 5, Act 2 Scene 2, and Act 3 Scene 1. Things that happened in these scenes actually would not happen in real world. Therefore I tried to portray the ridiculous aspects of the scenes through the using of exaggeration, sarcasm, and irony. 

In Act 1 Scene 5 was about the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet and its background was a ball party. Starting from the line 104, which was Romeo’s first attempt to attract Juliet by his poetic words, Romeo and Juliet’s crush on each other grew rapidly and eventually stopped when kissed. This scene was immensely unrealistic to me. Considering their age and the way to charm each other, I thought this scene needed to be amended urgently. For lines, I thought they were too much unnecessary description and they had gone too far as unsettled teenager lovers. What I did was cutting out all the poetic language and leaving only essential parts of the lines. Fundamentally I just left the words that were needed to convey the meaning. “If I propane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough  touch with a tender kiss” (line 104) was changed into “My lips, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss” because I felt like it was too wordy and too descriptive which could sound boring to the audiences. Also, I thought in the real world, the background like a ball party which has really loud and chaotic atmosphere makes hard to hear each other speaking, and I thought it could be used as a comical factor of this scene. Therefore I set up the background as a dance club and played some electronic music. Most importantly, to make the scene hilarious, I added a direction; Romeo and Juliet had to ask for pardon each other since they could not really hear each other speaking. By getting rid of all the poetic language and leaving only the practical words, and by setting the background as a dance club and adding the specific humorous stage direction, I could effectively show that Romeo and Juliet’s first meeting scene was highly unrealistic. 

Then for Act 2 Scene 2, which was the balcony scene, I knew it was a romantic scene. There was a significant deepening of their hopeless love through their, again, poetic talk and turning crush into the real love. However, when I tried to imagine this scene happening nowadays, it simply did not work because it was way too romantic and beautiful unlike the reality. In reality, if two lovers fall in love, their mind goes out of their mind and can not restrain themselves. Thus while the soliloquy of Juliet in original proceeded calmly and feebly, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet”, I changed Juliet’s action but kept the whole line. I asked Juliet to be more obsessed with Romeo and act like a child who really wants to get something but her mother does not let her get it because that is what I thought as an actual Juliet’s mind in the scene. In my scene, Juliet portrayed her obsession by stumbling around the stage, sitting down and screaming out Romeo’s name, and grabbing anything on the stage and throwing. Also, Romeo was overhearing Juliet down the balcony and was trying to climb up the wall to reach her. I thought I could make that as a comical scene I added the mission impossible theme song while Romeo climbed up the wall, prepared sunglasses, and rumpled his clothes and hair after he finished climbing up to show the harshness of reality. Lastly, Romeo seemed really brave that he could take all the risks coming from the feud between two families, but I thought this will never happen especially for teenager lovers. I demonstrated irony to stress on that. When nurse called Juliet within, Romeo, who said that he was not afraid of Capulet family, was shocked and trying to hide somewhere. 

My last choice was Act 3 Scene 1, which is Tybalt, Mercutio, and Romeo’s fighting scene. This scene seemed to have no room to make it humorous, but I figured out something extraordinary. Throughout the story, majority of Romeo’s lines were exceptionally long due to his aesthetic modifier and poetic flowery words. Act 3 Scene 3 had a huge tension between Montague and Capulet family; in other words it had to be very serious and tight scene. Nevertheless, Romeo’s line in that scene was still so long. From “Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting. Villain am I none. Therefore farewell. I see thou knows me not” (line 63) to “I do protest I never injured thee but love thee better than thou canst devise till thou shalt know the reason of my love. And so, good Capulet, which name I tender as dearly as mine own, be satisfied” (line 73), his lines were so long that honestly he could have been stabbed before he even finished his lines. I thought Romeo’s lengthy line did not fit in the scene. As a result, as a background music for normal lines, the music that sounded urgent and strained was played, and as soon as Romeo started speaking, relaxing, sleepy, peaceful music was played. It effectively showed the contrast which emphasizes the unrealistic aspect of Romeo’s ridiculously lengthy lines. 

Self Comment (outline) : I have more analysis and staging to add. Also I am going to write conclusion. This is just the basic structure of my coursework.

Modern Creative Interpretation of Romeo and Juliet

My group was attempting to show how ridiculous Romeo and Juliet is. To effectively show that, I firstly changed the time setting into modern setting because I thought the story was unrealistic from the modern perspective. Therefore I thought it will be really good to set in the modern time period. Automatically my group did not need to use any special costumes or props just like the original Romeo and Juliet play. However, sometimes using the things that were in original setting such as a sword and balcony helped me make the scenes hilarious. It could be funny through sarcasm, irony, or exaggerating action. Surely, I struggled and agonized with this for a long time because, unlike other groups, I had to completely change the scenes to make them as a comedy. As my group's task required a good amount of creative works and teamwork, we were gathered at the library during the study hall to work on together. Although my group almost had an official note regarding the improper behavior at the library, we somehow discussed about the scenes and finished outlining them. The good thing was that deeply figuring out how to act and direct was really hard but fun and actually worth doing it. I enjoyed it!

Eventually it turned out to be great! I was so glad that my group made others laugh. It felt like my group members' and my hard work paid off. Especially when people laughed at the scenes that I intended to make them laugh, I could not be happier than that. My group work seemed to be pretty satisfying for me and also had improved when comparing to the first rehearsal, yet there are quite many ways it can be improved. For the final filming day, my group tried to memorize all the lines to make the scenes flow smoothly. However, because of our insufficient performance ability, it did not work that well. We sometimes forgot the lines or mumbled it. If we get the next chance to try, we definitely need to speak up when saying lines and enunciate clearly. At least trying to memorize might have improved our ability though. Also one more thing I wanted to improve was for the first scene, which is the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet, could be more funny. I could add some more movement and interactions between Juliet and Romeo or Romeo and his friends. I felt like comparing to the size of the setting, I did not use all the stage to act. 

I think the one thing we were truly good at was music. We found some really good music for the scenes and used exactly as a tool of making a comedic aspect. There are still a lot more things that could be better, which make me really try one more time, I am so proud of my group's improvement. Also, I think my acting skill changed a little bit too. I became more confident about standing in front of audience and less awkward speaking up than before. I am so happy about this project and it was a lot of fun doing works. 

Reflection on my first draft

My first draft was grammatically wrong firstly. And secondly, it does not contain all the factors of my group's scenes and is not detailed enough. I have changed many things about our scenes after I wrote the first draft. For example, lines definitely were added more, musics were also added to make the scenes not boring and to accomplish the scenes' purposes, and stage settings were changed. 

To improve my draft, I can add all the changes to make sure it has all things I did for the scenes, and that way, I can make IB graders imagine the scenes vividly. 

To be more specific about the changes, I added some musics to show the contrast of mood in scene 3.1. 3.1 is fighting scene which is really suspenseful and urgent, so I played the music that has a fast tempo and serious melody. However when Romeo comes out and speaks long and boring line, the relaxing music that sounds sleepy is turned on. It shows that it does not make sense in real life that saying ridiculously long line when it is seious and imminent situation. The adding of the musics helped my group make the scenes so much better. Our acting felt more comfortable with the musics so we could show the comedic aspect much easier than before. 

What we want to show

Our scenes are pretty funny. We tried to adapt in comedy and used modern setting to show it. The reason why we are doing this is to show how ridiculous and unrealistic the original scenes are. Our using of irony and sarcasm which are our factors of comedy will help us show our purpose. Thus in our scenes, actors will act sometimes creepy, usually exaggerated, and definitely weird. For example, actors who act Romeo will keep changing as the scene changes, and because Romeo and Juliet are teenagers, they will act immature and scared. Specifically I am Romeo of our first scene which is Romeo and Juliet's first encounter. I will try to show the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet was not a serious true love since I just look at the appearance of Juliet and try to flirt with her. To show that I am not that serious, I will be acting like a "jerk" by chatting with my friends just like the immature guy and walking like swagger. Some comical factors will be added by my friends. For example, they are going to make fun of me while I am flirting with Juliet.

Project Script

Scene 1.5

In this scene, we are going to show the scene that Romeo and Juliet first meet each other.

Settings: Club, LOUD MUSIC, CROWD

Characters: Romeo(James), Juliet(Olivia)

Costumes: Casual

At least five people are acting funny.

Romeo is talking to his friends. He saw Juliet and came to her.

Because of the loud music, people can't really hear each other. Romeo and Juliet repeat the lines again and again. Juliet shakes Romeo. People are dancing. Romeo’s friends make fun of Romeo.

R: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand. To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

J: Good pilgrim. For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.

R: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

J: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

R: O then, let lips do what hands do

J: Saints do not move.

R: Then move not.

(He kisses her)

my sin is purged

J: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

R: Sin from my lips? Give me my sin again.

(Kiss again)

(Juliet exits)

2.2

Juliet acts creepy(obsessed with Romeo)

J: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. What’s in a name? Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title.

R: I take thee at thy word!

(Runs to Juliet’s house and climbs up to the balcony)

Music: Mission Impossible

I never will be Romeo! (his face and clothes are dirty)

J: (Juliet shocked as hell) What man art thou that? So stumblest on my counsel?

Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?

R: Neither. If either thee dislike.

J: (Worried, and shocked) the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here.

R: Thy kinsmen no stop to me.

J: They will murder you thee!

(Nurse calls from within)

(Romeo is frightened and tries to hide somewhere)

J: Stay but a little, I will come again.

(Juliet exits)

R: O blessed, blessed night!

(3 seconds later she comes back)

Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.

R: If my heart’s dear love...

(from inside) Nurse: Madam!

(Romeo is frightened again and almost crying)

J: I come---- A thousand times good night.

(She exits)

Scene 3.1

Characters: Romeo(Joseph), Mercutio(James), Tybalt(Ryan).

(though it is modern time period, they use sword to fight)

Walk in peacefully. (With a good mood)

Tybalt: Gentlemen, Good e’en.

M: Make it a word and blow.

T: You shall find me apt enough to that sir, an you will give me occasion. Mercutio, thou consortest with Romeo.

M: What? dost thou make us minstrels? An thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but discords. Here’s my fiddlestick ; here’s that shall make you dance. Zounds , consort!

M: Well, peace be with you, sir. Here comes my man . Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford No better term than this: thou art a villain.

Romeo walks in

R: Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee Doth much excuse the appertaining rage To such a greeting. Villain am I none. Therefore farewell. I see thou knowest me not.

M: Tybalt, you rat catcher , will you walk?

T: What wouldst thou have with me?

Start fighting

R: Tybalt, Mercutio, The Prince expressly hath forbid this bandying in Verona streets.

Romeo holds Mercutio.

Tybalt stabs Mercutio.

M: I am hurt. A plague o’ both houses! I am sped .’tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as the church's door. M Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm.
I thought all for the best.

R: This day’s black fate on more days doth depend. This but begins the woe others must end. Now, Tybalt, take the “villain” back again That late thou gavest me, for Mercutio’s soul.

T: Thou wretched boy that didst consort him here Shalt with him hence.

They fight, Romeo stabs tybalt.
Remember: when Romeo stabs SLOW MOTION
Tybalt dies.
Romeo is horrified, and he runs away.